what to do if childs friend may have taken your childs toy from the house

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Nobody wants their child to steal. Whether your preschooler covertly sneaks a candy bar from the grocery aisle, your 7-yr-old brings home a toy from daycare, or your 14-year-erstwhile steals blast polish from a drug store, discovering that your child stole something tin can be very upsetting.

Notwithstanding, these incidents are not uncommon, particularly in young children and again when tweens and teens begin pushing boundaries in boyhood. Left unchecked these behaviors might increase, however, an isolated incident doesn't mean your kid is destined for a life of offense. It's simply important for parents to react appropriately and use the situation as a teaching moment.

Ultimately, if your child steals something, intervene right away. Use discipline strategies that make clear to your child that stealing is incorrect. A healthy response from y'all can make them think twice when tempted to accept something that isn't in that location's and prevent stealing from becoming a habit.

Why Kids Steal

If your child is stealing, aim to effigy out the reason they did it before yous decide how to go on. Knowing why they took the particular in question and their motivation will help y'all craft a more than effective plan to deal with the beliefs.

There are many reasons why kids steal. You might call up it'south equally unproblematic as they wanted something they tin't take, and then they took information technology. But there are many underlying complexities and emotions that may impact a child's decision to steal. Beingness enlightened of—and addressing—these nuances, while also providing consequences for the misbehavior, can help prevent time to come temptation to steal. Hither are a few common reasons that kids steal.

Lack of Knowledge and Agreement

Information technology's common for toddlers and preschoolers to have other people's belongings. At this age, they lack a clear agreement of how stealing affects others and how information technology tin can be harmful. "Toddlers go through a "mine" phase. They may take something but it's not really stealing," says Candice W. Jones, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician in Sanford, Florida.

They also might have something from a store only considering they don't understand economics. To them, all the items forth the aisles may seem to be up for grabs, explains Dr. Jones. The concept of buying something just doesn't compute yet.

It's a great fourth dimension to brainstorm teaching your child most empathy and why stealing is wrong and then they can larn to respect other people's property. Hold regular conversations about the importance of leaving other people's holding alone. You can offering the instance of wanting your own items to be left lone and offer that same holding protection to others.

Poor Impulse Command

Elementary and middle-schoolhouse-age children often struggle with impulse control. They may simply take the impulse to touch so take something without even thinking about ownership or remembering that something may be off-limits. Then,they may quickly put an object they desire into their pockets without because the consequences. Teach your child impulse control to prevent stealing.

Peer Pressure

Junior high and loftier school students may steal because information technology's "absurd." They tin exist peer pressured into taking goods from the store or stealing money from an unattended purse in the locker room.

At other times, teens steal because they want to accept prissy items that they can't otherwise afford. Some teens steal every bit a way to rebel confronting potency. At this age, they're probable to confront legal problems if stealing isn't addressed finer.

Mental Health

Underlying behavior disorders or mental health bug can also contribute to behavior problems like stealing. A child who struggles to deal with his parents' divorce may brainstorm interim out. A kid who is struggling with depression may use stealing as a style to cope.

Discipline Strategies to Address Stealing

Whether your kid has brought home a suspicious item from school that they claim was a gift, or you've defenseless them taking something from a store, the style you accost the problem volition influence the likelihood that they will steal again.

"As a parent, take a moment to bargain with your emotions and at-home downwards," says Dr. Jones. In one case you're thinking conspicuously, move on to addressing the effect with your child. Here are some discipline strategies you can apply to discourage stealing.

Emphasize Honesty

Have frequent conversations about honesty can go a long style to prevent lying and stealing.

Provide your child with a less serious issue when they tell the truth and give them enough of praise when they are honest virtually misdeeds.

Teach Respect for Holding

"I would have [your child] explain why stealing is wrong," says Dr. Jones. Likewise, information technology's helpful to hash out the legal ramifications of stealing, especially as kids go older so that they fully sympathize that they could get into serious trouble if they steal, advises Dr. Jones.

Yous can help a young child understand ownership by making them responsible for their belongings. For example, talk about the importance of treating toys gently. Create rules around respect that ensure anybody asks before borrowing items. Discuss the importance of taking adept care of borrowed items and returning them to their owner.

Render Stolen Goods

If you take hold of your kid with stolen items, insist that they promptly return the stolen goods and repent to the victim. Yous might assistance your child write an apology letter of the alphabet or accompany your kid to the shop to render the stolen items.

"If your middle schooler takes a candy bar out of the shop without paying, that's stealing," days Dr. Jones. Information technology's important for them to take responsibleness past returning the item and facing the consequences of their actions.

Provide Consequences

A kid who constantly takes their siblings' favorite toys without permission may benefit from loaning their toys to a sibling. If they steal from someone it also provides a potent consequence for them to own what they and apologize face-to-face up, says Dr. Jones.

Taking abroad privileges can likewise exist a logical consequence. An older child may take to do extra chores to earn the money they need to pay someone back for stolen goods.

Problem-Solve Solutions

Work together to trouble-solve strategies that will reduce the likelihood of further stealing incidents. You may need to remove temptations for a while.

For instance, don't allow your thirteen-twelvemonth-sometime to be unsupervised with friends at stores. You lot may need to work on teaching your child better self-command skills before they are set up to have some other play engagement.

When to Seek Professional Help

Stealing tin have many legal, social, and emotional consequences for a child, including expulsion from daycare or school, and even criminal charges for teens.

If your bailiwick strategies aren't working to curb their stealing, it's important to take things a step further. If stealing has get an ongoing trouble, yous might need to seek professional help.

A professional advisor tin can identify underlying causes for stealing. Sometimes, mental health concerns, behavioral bug, or carry disorders are at the root of the problem.

A mental health professional person tin can assist yous and your kid with strategies that will put a stop to stealing.

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2. Talwar V, Lee Yard. A castigating environment fosters children's dishonesty: a natural experiment.Child Dev. 2011;82(vi):1751–1758. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.2011.01663.x

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